Ahhh

Achy muscles going on Lamination Colony. I am working on take home exams about Chaucer. Fuck. This sucks. And listening to lil wayne.

Fuck. Ahhh. I just don't want to do this bullshit.

I wish I had a lot of money. I would buy books. I hate libraries. I always get fines. I have a fucker of a fine right now. I lost a book. Apparently, it costs 60000000 dollars to replace the book. I didn't count how many zeros I pressed. Maybe I just tabulated the cost of a typical american invasion of another country. I don't know. The New York Times is writing about abstinent girls who want chivalrous guys. I see they haven't read any works of chivalry. Most chivalrous guys would rape them and then murder them. Unless they were already married. Then they would sing songs for them under their windows. I love people abstracting chivalry and hoping to find it in society. This is the way I think when I have to write a paper. Particularly one on Chaucer and Courtly Love. Ha.

In other news, I am considering moving to New York with Jess. She has a killer deal at Rockefeller, I have a not so killer deal at New School, and together we come out as comfortably mediocre. Or, I come out shitty and she comes out on top. Hmmm. I like New York ok. I think it has issues. The subway blows. Manhattan can be a bit of a frat party. But other than that, it has good restaurants and movies and music and a lot of activity and most writers seem to live there. So. Also, Rockefeller is a fucking upper east side womb.

This entry has a lot of curse words. A lot of meta-commentary as well.

Hmmm.

MFA blues

So I got no funding from Temple. Nor, for that matter, an information packet. So I don't really know if I want to go to that school, mainly because they haven't really communicated much with me. I Don't even know how much tuition is for a year. So. Ok. That was kind of depressing, but I guess I am sort of getting over it. It's not that I am like expecting a free ride or anything, it's just that I have had a lot of success in one avenue (publishing) and not very much in another (graduate school). It's hard to really come to terms with that... I mean, obviously, it's awesome that I've done some publishing, but it's weird how sometimes success doesn't translate to success in other areas, and its especially weird to try to understand what that problem in translation actually means in terms of my writing.

So I am now deciding between Temple and New School. I got drunk at the last Vox poetry meeting and somehow started talking to Noah Eli Gordon about the schools, and he thinks Temple is definitely better, but, at the same time, a lot of people like New School. Yes, I got drunk at the last Vox reading. On PBR. There was a 15 minute period where bottles were 1$, so I had three. Then I talked to several important young poets. Wasted. I was embarrassed. Still kind of am. I was totally nervous about talking to those writers. Thats what did it.

Ha. That's a weird story.

Listening to Elton John now, it's 2 am. I'm kind of tired, but I slept some earlier, so I'll probably be up for a while. Now listening to the Rolling Stone's song Beast of Burden. Never cared too much for the rolling stones, but damn this is a good song. its funny, cause I just started liking this song, but I bet I'll like it for a long time now. that's a strangely comfortable feeling. probably like it for the rest of my life.

Publication

One in Shampoo and like 5 or 6 in Fence. Well shit-fuck. I've been rejected from all sorts of MFA programs, but I got poems in Fence. Well I am stoked about that.

Listening to Sam Cooke at the moment. He is the soundtrack of a life lived in a motel along the interstate working construction jobs around town and drinking warm six-packs. He is 31 channels on cable music. He is male isolation music.

I saw the Bob Dylan movie the other night, which was really good. It was nice how much heavy symbolism was in the movie. It was definately interested in obliquity and connections rather than supplying a normal, biopic narrative. It wasn't exactly difficult, but I had fun thinking about the movie. The movie had some killer shots in it as well, and great performances by my man Heath and Cate Blanchette, who is probably my favorite actress out there right now.

Uh Oh...

It has been months, then, since I wrote anything here. Ha. Well. What, then, should I say...

I am in the process of making the exeedingly difficult choice between two graduate schools...one that wants me, but can't seem to pay me, and one that doesn't seem interested, but might be able too. And, well, I need money, so the choice is fairly difficult. I also care about my life. So. Clouds and all.

Here is an Avey Tare song, while we're on that track. damn seeing this was a surprise.

Working on a story right now about hedge fund managers. One kidnaps the other and takes him to south padre island spring break 2008.